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Remorse

Distressing emotion of regret

  • 11 min read
  • 7 chapters

Related on Lably

Through Emotion, Wrongdoing and Social norm

In a legal context, the perceived remorse of an offender is assessed by Western justice systems during trials, sentencing, parole hearings, and in restorative justice. However, there are epistemological problems with assessing an offender's level of remorse.

In general, a person needs to be unable to feel fear, as well as remorse, in order to develop psychopathic traits. Legal and business professions such as insurance have done research on the expression of remorse via apologies, primarily because of the potential litigation and financial implications.

Studies on apologizing

Studies on apologizing include The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas and On Apology by Aaron Lazare. These studies indicate that effective apologies which express remorse typically include:

  • a detailed account of the offense
  • acknowledgment of the hurt or damage done
  • acceptance of the responsibility for, and ownership of, the act or omission
  • an explanation that recognises one's own role.

As well, apologies usually include a statement or expression of regret, humility, or remorse; a request for forgiveness; and an expression of a credible commitment to change or a promise that it will not happen again. Apologies may also include some form of restitution, compensation or token gesture in line with the damage that one has caused. John Kleefeld has encapsulated this into "four Rs" that typically make for a fully effective apology: remorse, responsibility, resolution and reparation. When an apology is delayed, for instance if a friend has been wronged and the offending party does not apologise, the perception of the offense can compound over time. This is sometimes known as compounding remorse.

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