Jewish views on love

Love among human beings

One of the core commandments of Judaism is "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). This commandment stands at the center of the central book in the Torah. The Talmudic sages Hillel and Rabbi Akiva indicated that this is the central commandment of the Torah. The commandment emboldens individuals to treat each other as equals which requires first valuing oneself in order to be able to mirror that love onto others. Similarly, another significant commandment is to “not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor” (Leviticus 19:16), which can be exhibited in many forms. Some Jewish sources have emphasized the importance of self-sacrifice in regards to putting our needs second to another's, but Rabbi Akiva's teaching of "Your own life takes precedence to that of another," contradicts his own principle of loving thy neighbor as thyself.

This commandment of love, with the preceding sentence, "Thou shalt not avenge nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people," may originally have referred, and has by some scholars been exclusively referred, to the Israelite neighbor; but in Leviticus 19:34 it is extended to "the stranger that dwells with you . . . and thou shalt love him as thyself." In Job 31:13–15 it is declared unjust to wrong the servant in his cause: "Did not he that made me in the womb make him? and did not one fashion us in the womb?"

Romantic love is included in the command to love one's neighbor, but romantic love per se is not a central topic in classical Jewish literature. Some medieval rabbinic authorities such as Judah Halevi wrote romantic poetry in Arabic.

Classical rabbinic literature

Commenting upon the command to love the neighbor is a discussion recorded between Rabbi Akiva, who declared this verse in Leviticus to contain the great principle of the Law ("Kelal gadol ba-Torah"), and Ben Azzai, who pointed to Genesis 5:1 ("This is the book of the generations of Adam; in the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him"), as the verse expressing the leading principle of the Law, apparently because verse 5:1 gives the term "neighbor" its meaning as including all humans. R. Tanhuma explains the principle thus: "If you despise any man, you despise God who made man in His image."

Hillel also took the Biblical command in this universal spirit when he responded to the heathen who requested him to tell the Law while standing before him on one foot: "What is hateful to thee, thou shalt not do unto thy neighbor. This is the whole of the Law, the rest is only commentary". This negative form was the accepted Targum interpretation of Lev. 19:18, though Targum Onkelos translates the verse literally. To include all men, Hillel used the term "beriot" (creatures) when inculcating the teaching of love: "Love the fellow-creatures". Hatred of fellow-creatures ("sinat ha-beriyot") is similarly declared by R. Joshua b. Hananiah to be one of the three things that drive man out of the world.

The Talmud insists, with reference to Lev. 19:18, that even the criminal at the time of execution should be treated with tender love. As Schechter in "J. Q. R." 10:11, shows, the expression "You have heard . . ." is an inexact translation of the rabbinical formula, which is only a formal logical interrogation introducing the opposite view as the only correct one: "You might deduce from this verse that thou shalt love thy neighbor and hate thine enemy, but I say to you the only correct interpretation is, Love all men, even thine enemies." According to Ahad Ha-am, the Torah's phrasing of "thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" is negative because it creates a "perfect equilibrium, with no leaning either to your side or to your neighbour's."

Tanna Devei Eliyahu says: "Blessed be the Lord who is impartial toward all. He says: 'Thou shalt not defraud thy neighbor. Thy neighbor is like thy brother, and thy brother is like thy neighbor.'" and later on: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God"; that is, thou shalt make the name of God beloved to the creatures by a righteous conduct toward Gentiles as well as Jews.

Kabbalistic and Hasidic sources

Hayyim Vital taught that the law of love of the neighbor includes the non-Israelite as well as the Israelite. A similar view was taught by Aaron b. Abraham ibn Ḥayyim of the sixteenth century, in his commentary to Sifre, and by Moses Hagiz of the eighteenth century, in his work on the 613 commandments, while commenting on Deut. 23:7.

One of the main tenets of Hassidut is that everything in the universe exists only because the Creator wills it to exist. Therefore, the existence of even the most vile and wicked human beings are a manifestation of Hashem's will, and ultimately, their physical survival is due to that same divine energy that allows the entire creation to survive. And even though it is indeed a positive commandment to despise evil, the true tzaddik understands that the existence of even the most wicked human beings are in accordance with the Creator's will. This understanding is tantamount to love, as it stems from a love of Hashem and his ways. According to R' Nachman, this is the sod of "Ad delo yada bein arur Haman le'varuch Mordechai".

Some Jews, however, have criticized Kabbalistic and Hasidic views of love.

Musar movement

One of the leaders of the Musar movement, Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv, put much emphasis on love.

A later Musar movement leader, the 20th-century rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequently quoted as defining love from the Jewish point-of-view as "giving without expecting to take".

Modern Jewish views

The synod at Leipsic in 1869, and the German-Israelitish Union of Congregations in 1885, stood on old historical ground when declaring that "'Love thy neighbor as thyself' is a command of all-embracing love, and is a fundamental principle of the Jewish religion."

Modern Jewish Debates on Love and Justice

The 20th-century Jewish theologian Will Herberg argued that "justice" is at the heart of the Jewish notion of love, and the foundation for Jewish law:

The ultimate criterion of justice, as of everything else in human life, is the divine imperative—the law of love .... Justice is the institutionalization of love in society .... This law of love requires that every man be treated as a Thou, a person, an end in himself, never merely as a thing or a means to another's end. When this demand is translated into laws and institutions under the conditions of human life in history, justice arises.

The Jewish tradition often encourages the elimination of “otherness” instead for all to see each other as moral counterparts and emphasizes the obligation to render aid and intervene autonomously, doing the right thing because it is right, not in a heteronomous way, doing the right thing because we feel we must. The tradition teaches not to simply love, but to tolerate in order to be able to achieve justice.

Contemporary Rabbi Jill Jacobs has emphasized that the limits of love as a motivation for giving to others. As a way to extend one's hand to the community, one can give Tzedakah, or charity, which comes from the word Tzedek meaning justice, compassion and mercy. As an obligation, one must give to the poor “as a means of restoring justice to the world…not as an altruistic or voluntary gesture.” A way to outwardly and tangibly exhibit love is by giving. For example, giving money out of “passion for causes, out of love or concern for others, out of gratitude for our own good fortune, and out of desire to create a better world for ourselves and our children.” By giving to the community, one can demonstrate love outwardly while also embracing it inwardly.

Love has also been expressed as being the selflessness of mankind (Louis Jacobs, Greater Love Hath No Man). Humans have the capacity to self-sacrifice in the interest of others, as every life is valuable and unique. When one risks his or her own life to save another, it is seen as an act of piety and an act of love and justice which “advocates the most excessive altruism…” (Greater Love Hath No Man). In order to be selfless then, one must be able to “attach moral value to the individual as such, without any distinction between the self and the other.”

The Jewish tradition finds validity to the idea of love as well as the acts that supplement it. These acts are centered on ideas widely associated with love in many different traditions such as kindness, respect, compassion, and empathy. There is inherent value to every soul because they are human. Rabbi Laurie Zoloth-Dorfman states, “The conscience can be said, then, not to be the speaking of the voice within but rather the hearing of the quiet voice of the other, this voice, just as clearly as one’s “own,” must remind us to see each child as our own, each journey and each need as fundamentally shared.” Rather than finding compassion within oneself, we are obligated to find compassion from our empathy and natural connectedness to others. This love for one’s neighbor because they are ones neighbor is an important theme seen in modern views of love in Jewish ethics.

Love can be expressed in a myriad of ways in the Jewish tradition. One way is putting others before oneself. There are several arguments to do this, but one of the most compelling is because one does not know the value of their life. Rabbi Louis Jacobs states, “But no human being can know which life is of greater value. Hence, it is forbidden to save one’s life by committing murder.” Some interpretations state that each person is of different value based on a set of variables that are difficult to quantify. There is love to be found in sacrificing oneself because of an understanding that someone else's life could be more valuable to the world or to God. Rabbi David Novak states “Rather, many a Jewish source maintains that God affords every human being the opportunity to choose his or her moral fate, and will then judge him or her, and choose whether to love him or her, on the basis of that decision.” In this way, God can decide whether to love a person based on their decisions in the same way a person can choose to love another person. This idea of God withholding love is not necessarily the predominant one in the modern Jewish tradition, but it is an important concept in the discussion of love and Jewish ethics.