Soulmate

Historical usage of the concept

Judaism

In rabbinic and mystical literature, the concept of bashert (Yiddish: “destined one”) conveys the idea of a divinely ordained partner. The Talmud (Sotah 2a) states that “forty days before the formation of a child, a heavenly voice proclaims whose daughter he will marry.” Kabbalistic writings elaborate that a soul is divided before birth into male and female halves, which are reunited in marriage. The Baal Shem Tov is quoted as saying: “From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls destined to be together meet, the streams of light join and a brighter light goes forth from the united being.”

Mythology

Lilith and Eve

In Jewish folklore and later Kabbalistic writings, Adam is sometimes described as having had a first wife, Lilith, who was created from the same dust as him. According to this tradition, Lilith left Adam after refusing to submit to him, insisting instead on equality derived from their identical origin. In contrast, Eve is portrayed as Adam’s destined companion. Some rabbinic commentaries hold that her creation from Adam’s body symbolized an indissoluble union, with one interpretation suggesting that Adam was originally a dual-faced being divided at her creation.

Cain and Abel

A midrashic tradition states that in early generations, each male child was born with a twin sister destined to be his spouse. This belief extended to Cain and Abel, and later to Jacob and Esau, whose companions were identified in some commentaries with Rachel and Leah.

King Solomon's daughter

A lesser-known folktale concerns King Solomon, who, fearing that one of his daughters was destined to marry a poor man, secluded her in a tower deep within a forest. In the story, a bird of prey delivers her fated partner to the tower, where the two fall in love. The tale concludes with Solomon recognizing the young man’s scholarly virtues despite his lack of wealth, thereby fulfilling the destined match.

Greek mythology

In Plato’s Symposium, the comic playwright Aristophanes presents a myth to explain the origin of love. According to his account, humans were originally androgynous beings with four arms, four legs, and a single head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them in half, condemning each to spend their lives searching for its missing counterpart (the term used by Plato is τὸ ἕτερον ἥμισυ, tó héteros ímisy, lit. "the other half"). Aristophanes describes this longing for unity as the source of human desire, stating that “love calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature.”

Hinduism

The story of Shiva and Parvati (Shakti) illustrates how the masculine and feminine principles are eternal and inseparable parts of the universe. The story of Radha and Krishna also illustrates divine love that breaks through all barriers.

Theosophy

Within the esoteric religious movement of Theosophy, Helena Blavatsky and later writers described the soul as originally androgynous, embodying both male and female aspects. In some interpretations, these souls later divided into separate genders, a process linked symbolically to karmic consequences or estrangement from the divine. Each half was believed to reincarnate separately, with the ultimate aim of reunion once karmic debts had been resolved.

New Age

In New Age thought, the concept of soulmates has been further developed by spiritual teachers such as Mark L. Prophet and Elizabeth Clare Prophet. This school of thought defines a soulmate as a distinct soul with whom an individual has shared multiple lifetimes in different roles—including those of friend, colleague, or spouse—brought together for the purpose of mutual growth or a shared mission. The Prophets emphasize that soulmates are not necessarily a single destined partner, but rather one of many spiritual companions encountered over successive reincarnations. They describe the bond as one of “parallel and mutual evolution,” capable of manifesting in romantic or fraternal forms.

Practices

Judaism

In Jewish thought, the concept of a divinely ordained partner is expressed through the term bashert (Yiddish: “destined one”). Classical sources state that all souls stand before God in pairs before entering the world, and that the “Holy One” unites these couples as intended matches.

Prayer

Prayer is regarded as one means of seeking one’s bashert. In the Hebrew Bible, Eliezer prays for divine guidance in finding a wife for Isaac (Genesis 24), while later rabbinic tradition recounts that Leah prayed to alter her destined match after learning that her intended partner was Esau; she was instead joined with Jacob. In some Jewish communities, additional devotional practices developed around this belief, including praying at the tombs of revered sages, or reciting the Song of Songs and selected Psalms (31, 32, 70, 72, and 124) for forty consecutive days.

Working on character traits (Middot)

Although bashert conveys the idea of a destined partner, Jewish ethical teaching emphasizes that destiny is shaped by free will. Rabbinic sources caution that a person who fails to cultivate good character (middot) may lose the merit of their destined partner to another who is more deserving.

Criticism

Psychologists and relationship researchers have argued that the belief in a single predestined soulmate can create unrealistic expectations and hinder relationship satisfaction. Such views suggest that framing love as a matter of destiny may discourage individuals from developing practical skills in communication and conflict resolution, while increasing the likelihood of disappointment when partners fail to meet idealized standards.

In social science

The "soulmate model of relationships" is a valid model of relationships posited by social science researchers, defined by the belief that there is one perfect person designed to complete the subject romantically. It "places a premium on each partner’s innermost needs or desires, that is, on their sense that a relationship is delivering the emotional and sexual intimacy that affords them a sense of personal fulfillment." However, the soulmate model has been criticized by the institutional model of marriage, which is defined by more objective and goal-oriented marital partnerships, characterized by marital permanency, mutual aid to one another, and the tasks around childbearing and childrearing. Social networks of friends and family who view their marriages in a similar regard are also factors, along with religious institutions that lend spiritual power to their relationship. Researchers have found that institutional models of marriage are more likely to enjoy more marriages than those who base their marriage on the soulmate approach.