Triangulation (psychology)
Theory related to Murray Bowen
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Through Psychology, Domestic violence and Generation
Family theory
In family systems theory, triangulation can occur when a third family member becomes involved in conflict or tension between two others. In parent–child triangulation, a child may be drawn into conflict between parents by being asked to carry messages, provide information about one parent to the other, mediate disagreements, or take sides. Other forms include a parent and child forming a coalition against the other parent, or parents shifting attention from their own conflict towards the child.
Triangulation can also occur within families affected by domestic abuse or coercive control. In such circumstances, a perpetrator may involve a child in the conflict, including by encouraging an alliance with the child against the other parent or placing the child in a position of divided loyalty. Research on children experiencing domestic abuse has described triangulation in this context alongside role reversal, scapegoating and pressure to take sides. In a triangular family relationship, the two who have aligned risk forming an enmeshed relationship.
Positive and negative triangulation
Triangulation can be a constructive and stabilizing factor. Triangulation can also be a destructive and destabilizing factor. Destabilizing or "bad triangulation" can polarize communications and escalate conflict. Understanding the difference between stabilizing triangulation and destabilizing triangulation helps avoid destabilizing situations. Triangulation may be overt, which is more commonly seen in high-conflict families, or covert.
A 2016 longitudinal study of adolescent relationship skills found that teens who were triangulated into parental conflicts more frequently used positive conflict resolution techniques with their own dating partner, but were also more likely to engage in verbally abusive behaviors.
The Perverse Triangle
The Perverse Triangle was first described in 1977 by Jay Haley as a triangle where two people who are on different hierarchical or generational levels form a coalition against a third person (e.g., "a covert alliance between a parent and a child, who band together to undermine the other parent's power and authority".) The perverse triangle concept has been widely discussed in professional literature. Bowen called it the pathological triangle, while Minuchin called it the rigid triangle. For example, a parent and child can align against the other parent but not admit to it, to form a cross-generational coalition. These are harmful to children.
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Child development
In the field of psychology, triangulations are necessary steps in the child's development. When a two-party relationship is opened up by a third party, a new form of relationship emerges and the child gains new mental abilities. The concept was introduced in 1971 by the Swiss psychiatrist Ernst L. Abelin, especially as 'early triangulation', to describe the transitions in psychoanalytic object relations theory and parent-child relationship in the age of 18 months. In this presentation, the mother is the early caregiver with a nearly "symbiotic" relationship to the child, and the father lures the child away to the outside world, resulting in the father being the third party. Abelin later developed an 'organizer- and triangulation-model', in which he based the whole human mental and psychic development on several steps of triangulation.
Some earlier related work, published in a 1951 paper, had been done by the German psychoanalyst Hans Loewald in the area of pre-Oedipal behavior and dynamics. In a 1978 paper, the child psychoanalyst Selma Kramer wrote that Loewald postulated the role of the father as a positive supporting force for the pre-Oedipal child against the threat of re-engulfment by the mother which leads to an early identification with the father, preceding that of the classical Oedipus complex. This was also related to the work in Separation-Individuation theory of child development by the psychoanalyst Margaret Mahler.
Destabilizing triangulation
Destabilizing triangulation occurs when a person attempts to control the flow, interpretation, and nuances of communication between two separate actors or groups of actors, thus ensuring communications flow through, and constantly relate back to them. Examples include a parent attempting to control communication between two children, or a relationship partner attempting to control communication between the other partner and the other partner's friends and family. Another example is to put a third actor between them and someone with whom they are commonly in conflict. Rather than communicating directly with the actor with whom they are in conflict, they will send communication supporting his or her case through a third actor in an attempt to make the communication more credible. Destabilizing triangulation can adversely impact children, who may experience increased anxiety and self-blame due to involvement in marital disputes between their parents.